About 4 years ago God provided us with the car we have now- a Honda Odyssey. We had given away our car a few months previously and I was now very pregnant with Lily. We knew God was going to provide, we just didn't know how. The bank refused to give us a loan. Some friends gave us some money towards a down payment, but the bank wasn't satisfied. God provided in a different way, which He often does!
Some very loving people in our church gave us a personal loan at a very low interest rate which allowed us to buy the car. On top of already giving us a great interest rate, last month they lowered it yet again which allowed us to make our final payment on the car today. I felt so blown away when the gift first came, and then to have them be even more generous 4 years later was icing on the cake.
Sheldon and I are looking forward to using the "car payment" each month to pay off a huge car repair bill that had to go on our credit card.
Our Father never stops amazing me with the ways in which He provides for us. It's not always easy going and stress-free, but we are never truly in want.
I know our benefactors want to remain anonymous, and I will respect that, but I want them to know what a huge blessing they have been to us, and how much their generosity has changed our lives. And I also want to say we are the proud new, debt-free owners of a great car... SOLD!!!!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Thank You Daddy...
Sheldon and I have had some pretty major ups and downs, financially, in our 10 1/2 years of marriage. Actually, honestly, they've been mostly down times, but somehow God always sees us through, as He promised he would (Phil 4:19). I remember, clearly, in our first year of marriage, the electricity being cut off because we didn't have enough money to pay the bill. I totally freaked out. I was set and ready to pack my bags and go back home to my mom and dad, who-although they also saw some tough times-never had the electricity cut off. I felt very scared and unsure and questioned what in the world I was doing with this "stranger of a man" (you have to know our story to understand that statement) who couldn't provide for me. I can also remember, in that first year, opening the fridge and seeing nothing but a bottle of ketchup and a partial block of cheese (which is YELLOW here!!!!). Anyway, there was no possible way for me to get home, which was a good thing. The Lord knew it was my tendency to run and hide, so if I could have gotten home I would have gone. But I was stuck and He made us stick it out. I'm so glad He did!
We've never been through times where we didn't have to live off of a very tight budget. There was never anything left over at the end of any month for savings or anything like that. We didn't go without though. We've had countless people bless us over the years with various things. Food, money, clothes, holidays... it's amazing to look back and see all the miracles God has done simply because He loves us.
He's challenged us with giving as well. We actually love to give, and this has become harder as our family has grown. It's hard to 'give' knowing that it's the last of what you've got, and tomorrow you're going to need diapers or milk or bread or all of the above. We've tried to be obedient in giving, and I can tell you that God is NOT good at math, because He gives us in return far more than we ever expect He would. Once we gave a lady who'd been mugged of her groceries R50. A day or two later someone gave us $500 toward our trip to the US that year... come on people- 50 RANDS compared to 500 DOLLARS!!! God is good.
I have to admit that it hasn't always been rosy or exciting. Some people can face their needs with seemingly endless amount of carefree-ness. Not me. I tend to worry and freak out. But as the years have passed and I look back I can certainly see how the Lord has used these challenges to make me grow. However, the Lord has this way of taking you to a place, and just when you think you've 'arrived' He says "uh-uh, I want you to move a little bit further." This happened this past month.
I want to make it clear here that we don't struggle financially because we are 1- not looked after by our employer, nor 2- because we are irresponsible. But what do you do when your gear box breaks and it costs R18,000 to repair??? yeah, you go into debt. At least people like us do! And when you've never had enough at the end of each month to save, how do you now pay off an extra R18,000??? It takes time.
So this year, for the first time in 10+ years, we enjoyed a month where we actually had some money in our check account the day before payday. Granted, it wasn't much, less than R50 I think, but it was something. HURRAY! Thank You, Lord. It was soooooooooooo nice to be able to go buy milk and bread and eggs on the 20th (pay day is the 25th) and know I wasn't borrowing the money to do so from the kids' piggy banks. It felt great and I rejoiced daily. I felt so spoiled by our gracious God. You might think He's not very gracious if we struggle each month, but if I didn't struggle I wouldn't have the character building that I've had over the last decade. I'd be a spoiled brat and probably far less likely to give because I wouldn't understand the joy of the whole giving/receiving process.
Well this month was back to old times. There were extra expenses due to our trip to PMB for Comrades. Just gas alone set us back quite a bit. So by the 15th we were broke. Nothing left. Nothing in the checking, nothing even left in the credit card (thanks to that gear box repair job). We were back to beans and lentils. Fine. It was fine. I was used to this and although it was a bummer, I could handle it. I kept my mind on things above, and was reminded to be thankful and grateful for all that we have. It wasn't easy, but it was doable. We got creative with school snacks and drank more water than usual. No big deal. But as each day passed our needs grew greater. I spent a lot of time praying "Lord, you know our needs. Help me to keep my focus on you and not our needs. Please provide for us as You've promised you would. Thank you for all that you've blessed us with." But I guess my heart wasn't fully 100% in that prayer because one day late last week I cracked. I fell apart. We were running out of everything, time was up, 99 had come and gone and it seemed like God had simply forgotten about us. Electricity was almost gone. Fridge was nearly empty. Dry goods running low. Last dose of daily meds taken.... all this and a holiday to look forward to. How were we going to manage a holiday (accomadation was a GIFT!!!) with 5 kids and no cash? I had no meds left and that was going to be dangerous. Sheldon wrapped me in his arms and tried to console me as he prayed aloud and shared what was on both our hearts with our Father. I got my act together and felt better after that.
On Monday an email arrived from my mom saying some friends in the US sent them a check for us for $500!!!!!!!! (I can't access it yet, as I'm still waiting for my ATM card to arrive in the mail.) Today, Sheldon got an SMS saying "R5,000 deposited into your account. Reference: Holiday money." As Sheldon read me the SMS tears came to my eyes. We hugged and both started to cry. Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe how we felt.
You know, although I've walked with Christ for as long as I can remember, I'm still a human mess. I still worry and fret even though I don't need to. I don't know why God works out his timing the way He does. And yes, He's allowed us to "suffer." We've gone through times where all we had to eat for days on end were potatoes (which happened to be a gift from a local farmer) and we all got sick from it. Why did He allow that? I don't know. Maybe we needed a greater reality check to what most of this country and this continent live through. Why would he allow my meds to run out, knowing their could be serious consequences? I have no idea, but I know that it has to be for a reason. But the blessings far, far, far outweigh the hard times. The list of blessings in the back of our blessing book isn't longer than a list (which I've never made) of rough times.... but they weigh far more. The hard times may have lasted months on end, but then that needed holiday when you are just desperate to get away, makes up for the months of hard time, and then some.
Yesterday was the last day we could get our car re-licensed without a penalty. Today we were able to get it done(and although we deserved a penalty for being late, we were't issued one!). Yesterday we ran out of bread and milk. Today we bought some. Yesterday we owed money at Kebar for lunch we'd gotten the week before, today I paid the bill. Yesterday I ran out of medicine. Today I got a refill. Yesterday I didn't know HOW we'd be able to manage this holiday, today I know we'll not only just get by, we'll have an incredibly fantastic time. We'll be able to spoil the kids like never before and the best thing of all is that Mandisa and Andiswa will be with us. We cannot wait to take them to the beach for the very first time in their lives. They have never seen dolphins or even been to a mall. "Mall" is one of the boys' spelling words and I asked Mandisa if he knew what it was. He didn't and so I explained to him. He was quiet for a moment and then said, "wow... I've never seen anything like that."
I sat and worried and cried and doubted and God still came through.
What an amazing God we serve.
Thank You, Daddy, for your love and care.
And, thanks, to whoever it is of you out there who was obedient to the Lord's prompting and sent us the holiday money. You'll never know just how much it means. My words can never express our gratitude adequately. God bless you.
Until next time....
We've never been through times where we didn't have to live off of a very tight budget. There was never anything left over at the end of any month for savings or anything like that. We didn't go without though. We've had countless people bless us over the years with various things. Food, money, clothes, holidays... it's amazing to look back and see all the miracles God has done simply because He loves us.
He's challenged us with giving as well. We actually love to give, and this has become harder as our family has grown. It's hard to 'give' knowing that it's the last of what you've got, and tomorrow you're going to need diapers or milk or bread or all of the above. We've tried to be obedient in giving, and I can tell you that God is NOT good at math, because He gives us in return far more than we ever expect He would. Once we gave a lady who'd been mugged of her groceries R50. A day or two later someone gave us $500 toward our trip to the US that year... come on people- 50 RANDS compared to 500 DOLLARS!!! God is good.
I have to admit that it hasn't always been rosy or exciting. Some people can face their needs with seemingly endless amount of carefree-ness. Not me. I tend to worry and freak out. But as the years have passed and I look back I can certainly see how the Lord has used these challenges to make me grow. However, the Lord has this way of taking you to a place, and just when you think you've 'arrived' He says "uh-uh, I want you to move a little bit further." This happened this past month.
I want to make it clear here that we don't struggle financially because we are 1- not looked after by our employer, nor 2- because we are irresponsible. But what do you do when your gear box breaks and it costs R18,000 to repair??? yeah, you go into debt. At least people like us do! And when you've never had enough at the end of each month to save, how do you now pay off an extra R18,000??? It takes time.
So this year, for the first time in 10+ years, we enjoyed a month where we actually had some money in our check account the day before payday. Granted, it wasn't much, less than R50 I think, but it was something. HURRAY! Thank You, Lord. It was soooooooooooo nice to be able to go buy milk and bread and eggs on the 20th (pay day is the 25th) and know I wasn't borrowing the money to do so from the kids' piggy banks. It felt great and I rejoiced daily. I felt so spoiled by our gracious God. You might think He's not very gracious if we struggle each month, but if I didn't struggle I wouldn't have the character building that I've had over the last decade. I'd be a spoiled brat and probably far less likely to give because I wouldn't understand the joy of the whole giving/receiving process.
Well this month was back to old times. There were extra expenses due to our trip to PMB for Comrades. Just gas alone set us back quite a bit. So by the 15th we were broke. Nothing left. Nothing in the checking, nothing even left in the credit card (thanks to that gear box repair job). We were back to beans and lentils. Fine. It was fine. I was used to this and although it was a bummer, I could handle it. I kept my mind on things above, and was reminded to be thankful and grateful for all that we have. It wasn't easy, but it was doable. We got creative with school snacks and drank more water than usual. No big deal. But as each day passed our needs grew greater. I spent a lot of time praying "Lord, you know our needs. Help me to keep my focus on you and not our needs. Please provide for us as You've promised you would. Thank you for all that you've blessed us with." But I guess my heart wasn't fully 100% in that prayer because one day late last week I cracked. I fell apart. We were running out of everything, time was up, 99 had come and gone and it seemed like God had simply forgotten about us. Electricity was almost gone. Fridge was nearly empty. Dry goods running low. Last dose of daily meds taken.... all this and a holiday to look forward to. How were we going to manage a holiday (accomadation was a GIFT!!!) with 5 kids and no cash? I had no meds left and that was going to be dangerous. Sheldon wrapped me in his arms and tried to console me as he prayed aloud and shared what was on both our hearts with our Father. I got my act together and felt better after that.
On Monday an email arrived from my mom saying some friends in the US sent them a check for us for $500!!!!!!!! (I can't access it yet, as I'm still waiting for my ATM card to arrive in the mail.) Today, Sheldon got an SMS saying "R5,000 deposited into your account. Reference: Holiday money." As Sheldon read me the SMS tears came to my eyes. We hugged and both started to cry. Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe how we felt.
You know, although I've walked with Christ for as long as I can remember, I'm still a human mess. I still worry and fret even though I don't need to. I don't know why God works out his timing the way He does. And yes, He's allowed us to "suffer." We've gone through times where all we had to eat for days on end were potatoes (which happened to be a gift from a local farmer) and we all got sick from it. Why did He allow that? I don't know. Maybe we needed a greater reality check to what most of this country and this continent live through. Why would he allow my meds to run out, knowing their could be serious consequences? I have no idea, but I know that it has to be for a reason. But the blessings far, far, far outweigh the hard times. The list of blessings in the back of our blessing book isn't longer than a list (which I've never made) of rough times.... but they weigh far more. The hard times may have lasted months on end, but then that needed holiday when you are just desperate to get away, makes up for the months of hard time, and then some.
Yesterday was the last day we could get our car re-licensed without a penalty. Today we were able to get it done(and although we deserved a penalty for being late, we were't issued one!). Yesterday we ran out of bread and milk. Today we bought some. Yesterday we owed money at Kebar for lunch we'd gotten the week before, today I paid the bill. Yesterday I ran out of medicine. Today I got a refill. Yesterday I didn't know HOW we'd be able to manage this holiday, today I know we'll not only just get by, we'll have an incredibly fantastic time. We'll be able to spoil the kids like never before and the best thing of all is that Mandisa and Andiswa will be with us. We cannot wait to take them to the beach for the very first time in their lives. They have never seen dolphins or even been to a mall. "Mall" is one of the boys' spelling words and I asked Mandisa if he knew what it was. He didn't and so I explained to him. He was quiet for a moment and then said, "wow... I've never seen anything like that."
I sat and worried and cried and doubted and God still came through.
What an amazing God we serve.
Thank You, Daddy, for your love and care.
And, thanks, to whoever it is of you out there who was obedient to the Lord's prompting and sent us the holiday money. You'll never know just how much it means. My words can never express our gratitude adequately. God bless you.
Until next time....
Monday, June 13, 2011
Need some help!
I have started to write something a few times over the past couple of weeks, but obviously nothing has gotten done until now.
Comrades has come and gone. It was a good event overall and I'm incredibly proud of my hubby for sticking with it on the day (when he felt quite sick!).
Right now I'm needing some support in various ways. Mostly it concerns Mandisa, who many of you know about. For those of you who don't, there's a longer story, but the short of it is Mandisa is a little guy who Myles met in preschool a few years back. Right now he's back at Maranatha in 2nd grade with Myles. Sheldon and I have taken Mandisa and Andiswa (who's in K with Hannah) under our wings. We've been trying to get financial support for them to remain at Maranatha (which is a private Christian school) as well as trying to help Mandisa catch up with his school work. He was at a public school where the standards were incredibly low. We had hoped with a few months of extra help and tutoring that he'd catch up with the rest of the class, but he hasn't. He's not the slowest in his class, but I feel certain he's got potential... however he's not where he should be academically. I don't know what else to do. I'm not a qualified anything, especially a teacher... In my heart I really, really, would like Mandisa to pass 2nd grade and move along with Myles. They are very good friends, but on a selfish note, it'll be easier for me to help 2 kids in grade 3 and 2 kids in grade 1 (next year the girls will be there), than 1 in grade 3, 1 in grade 2 (again) and two in grade 1.... Lily will still be in preschool.
I'm seeking advice, materials and mostly wisdom from our Father. I want to know how how best to help Mandisa. I just don't feel satisfied with the answer that he's slow. Maybe he does have some learning difficulties,and I need to just submit to the fact that keeping him back is for the best. HOWEVER, if that potential is in there, but just needs to be unlocked, I want to unlock it. I just need a word from our Father of what the truth is with M.
((School vacation is in less than two weeks and we are taking Mandisa and Andiswa with us to the beach! Some very loving and caring friends have given us 1 week at the beach for free!!! HURRAY!!!! We feel so spoiled!! M & A have NEVER been to the beach before, so they are really excited. Our kids are praying for some spending money so we can take all of them to the aquarium in Durban. ))
The other area where we just need wisdom from God is our spiritual input into the lives on A & M. The other day I was driving them home after homework and Mandisa saw a clam shell on the floor of our car (left there by some of the kids' other friends). He told us about how you can pray to Jesus and the clam shell will open and then you can talk to your ancestors. Oi vey. Very typical of African Christians... they call out to Jesus but so often aren't taught to leave their old ways behind. I told him that it wasn't right to do that and he said "but my Granny has a whole vest made of shells." Oi. ((Sigh.)) I love these kiddos and want what is best for them. I'm feeling incredibly unqualified, which I am really, but know that God can use me if I let Him.
Please pray with me for wisdom, for financial provision, and for God-ideas on how to help the kids with their school work! Thanks friends.
Until next time...
Comrades has come and gone. It was a good event overall and I'm incredibly proud of my hubby for sticking with it on the day (when he felt quite sick!).
Right now I'm needing some support in various ways. Mostly it concerns Mandisa, who many of you know about. For those of you who don't, there's a longer story, but the short of it is Mandisa is a little guy who Myles met in preschool a few years back. Right now he's back at Maranatha in 2nd grade with Myles. Sheldon and I have taken Mandisa and Andiswa (who's in K with Hannah) under our wings. We've been trying to get financial support for them to remain at Maranatha (which is a private Christian school) as well as trying to help Mandisa catch up with his school work. He was at a public school where the standards were incredibly low. We had hoped with a few months of extra help and tutoring that he'd catch up with the rest of the class, but he hasn't. He's not the slowest in his class, but I feel certain he's got potential... however he's not where he should be academically. I don't know what else to do. I'm not a qualified anything, especially a teacher... In my heart I really, really, would like Mandisa to pass 2nd grade and move along with Myles. They are very good friends, but on a selfish note, it'll be easier for me to help 2 kids in grade 3 and 2 kids in grade 1 (next year the girls will be there), than 1 in grade 3, 1 in grade 2 (again) and two in grade 1.... Lily will still be in preschool.
I'm seeking advice, materials and mostly wisdom from our Father. I want to know how how best to help Mandisa. I just don't feel satisfied with the answer that he's slow. Maybe he does have some learning difficulties,and I need to just submit to the fact that keeping him back is for the best. HOWEVER, if that potential is in there, but just needs to be unlocked, I want to unlock it. I just need a word from our Father of what the truth is with M.
((School vacation is in less than two weeks and we are taking Mandisa and Andiswa with us to the beach! Some very loving and caring friends have given us 1 week at the beach for free!!! HURRAY!!!! We feel so spoiled!! M & A have NEVER been to the beach before, so they are really excited. Our kids are praying for some spending money so we can take all of them to the aquarium in Durban. ))
The other area where we just need wisdom from God is our spiritual input into the lives on A & M. The other day I was driving them home after homework and Mandisa saw a clam shell on the floor of our car (left there by some of the kids' other friends). He told us about how you can pray to Jesus and the clam shell will open and then you can talk to your ancestors. Oi vey. Very typical of African Christians... they call out to Jesus but so often aren't taught to leave their old ways behind. I told him that it wasn't right to do that and he said "but my Granny has a whole vest made of shells." Oi. ((Sigh.)) I love these kiddos and want what is best for them. I'm feeling incredibly unqualified, which I am really, but know that God can use me if I let Him.
Please pray with me for wisdom, for financial provision, and for God-ideas on how to help the kids with their school work! Thanks friends.
Until next time...
Friday, May 20, 2011
It's About That Time...
The living room is finally painted!!! Took longer than I wanted, and it's far from perfect, but I'm happy with the colors and until we can afford to paint again, it'll just have to stay the way it is!
I also managed to do something for Hannah's birthday which came out OK:
At the moment I'm trying to finish up a sweater for Hannah that I started during the summer. If I don't hurry up it'll have to wait 2yrs till Lily can fit into it. No pictures of the sweater so far ;)
So, yeah, (sigh), it's that time of year.... COMRADES!
I know anyone can run (well, anyone with two legs, who isn't 100yrs old or riddled with some degenerative, crippling illness or disease)... but you have to love to run if you're going to train for the Comrades. Sheldon loves running. He doesn't always "love" it while he's doing it, but after it's done he never has any regrets for putting himself through the pain. He sees it as a challenge which he wants to overcome. I see it as a punishment. I tried running. I'm INCREDIBLY unfit and could most certainly get heart-healthy and tone up my body... I thought with all the buzz around Sheldon and his running group that maybe I'd get into it. Didn't happen. It's soooooo not my cup of tea. I like to do stuff- like tennis or squash or basketball... and I'll work hard and long at those things. THOSE I enjoy. THOSE things I could get fanatical about, but running 86.something KMs, UPHILL from Durban to Pietermartizburg isn't one of them.
I have, however, grown to love supporting my husband in this endeavor. I appreciate what his running group has meant to him on a personal/friendship level. It has seriously changed our lives. His running group feels like family to us. We wives all get together while the men run and we talk about all their moanings and groanings and injuries and share all the stories our husbands have told us about their early morning runs. We wives get a work out too, just in a different way. It's called stress, or maybe a high level of concern!
Last year was Sheldon's first turn at running Comrades, in fact, it was his first year of truly running (at least since army days). Each milestone for him was also one for me. He didn't know it, but each time he left to go run 6 or 15 or 20 or 32 or 42 or 50 kilometer runs, I was there with him. I was praying, wondering... and waiting. Waiting to hear the key in the door to know he'd made it home safely. Wondering how the run went. Praying he wouldn't get hurt. As we prepared for Comrades as a family I heard a lot about the "let down" after the run. It was probably in Runners World where I read an article about runners going into a kind of depression after Comrades was over. It made sense. All year long they train for THIS marathon. They've run others, they've done endless training runs, but all of it is in preparation for Comrades. What I didn't know, and certainly did not expect, was that I, too, would experience the "let down." While Sheldon exerted himself for just over 9hours of non-stop running, I exerted just over 9hours (actually way more) of constant prayer, worry, wondering, concern... "where is he? is he OK? is his back holding out? did the injury flare up?" For all I could know, sitting 2/3 of the way down the route, he'd gotten plowed over by someone and never made it past kilometer 5. But how would I know? It's not like our Star Trek Communicators actually work here in South Africa. ;)
To see him come past the finish line, along side his best friend, was just incredible. I was so so so so SO proud of him. Words could not express how proud of him I was. I did see him at the 2/3 route, which was certainly helpful, but seeing him make it the whole way was just plain awesome.
But then it was over. He'd done it, but now it was done. He'd gotten up 5 out of 7 mornings every week somewhere between 4:14 and 4:45AM to go running. Now that was over. What was I supposed to do with myself? What was I supposed to do with him??? Running has been such a great outlet and form of therapy for Sheldon. Now he was doing nothing. There was nothing for me to worry about... I just had to encourage him to wait his 6weeks and this would all start all over again. Just relax and rest your body. Let it heal, let it REST (darn it!). But what I didn't do was let myself rest. I was feeling the sort of depressing "let down," just in a different way from Sheldon. I was not resting. I was always wondering how he was coping deep down inside. I knew he was badly missing his running buddies. I mean, come on, they were calling each other to say hi. What guys do you know that do that? Girls maybe, but these guys are so closely knit they just can't seem to function apart for too long. It was a relief to not only the guys when the 6weeks were over, but to us wives as well. Phew. We'd made it through the let down. The men had rested their bodies (which were all skin and bones just 6-8weeks before), put some fat back on, and were ready to hit the road yet again. We wives were ready to have them run, have their guy bonding times, their outlets, etc... We just forgot to rest ourselves.
So now Comrades #2 is just days away. Sheldon's been struggling with a hamstring injury for most of the season. He needed a solid 6 weeks off to let it heal, but if he did that he wouldn't have followed the training plan for Comrades, so he's run through the pain. (something I could never do. My mind is not strong like that!) He's got quite a chest cold as well. I've been doctoring him best I can with allergy meds, VIT C and immune boosters, but that is all I can do- the rest is in God's hands. I've been on my knees (well, not literally) for an entire year over this man and this race... Sheldon's best friend was injured last week and we are storming the gates for a miracle healing there as well. God did it for Sheldon last year. His back was messed up, and God healed it for like 3 days, just enough to get him through the race, and then the pain came back. It was amazing. I don't think Sheldon even minded that the pain came back, we just knew God had taken care of it so that Sheldon could run. Afterall, it was a life-long dream. How depressing would it be to have wanted this all your life, then spend an entire year preparing, only to find you can't run it on the day...
So it's that time. We're leaving tomorrow for PMB. We'll spend the week before Comrades there... just waiting. Sheldon will be resting, relaxing, and waiting (he'll only do 3 days of short runs just to keep the muscles loose). I will be praying, praying, praying. Praying for Sheldon. Praying for his best buddy. Praying for everyone in the running group...
This year, after it's over, I'm going to take 6 weeks off. ;)
proud of you my babe. xoxo
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Update
I'm always surprised at how much time passes between my postings. Life just flies by, as everyone told me it would. On top of the time thing, I've been spending most of my online time on my new cell phone (a BB curve), which has free internet access. It's not conducive to writing anything of notable length, however, so that's another reason for the few and far between posts. (By the way, my right thumb muscle is SO sore!!! Still getting used to typing on the bigger phone!)
Quite a bit has happened in the last few weeks, one thing I tried to blog about but just couldn't get down on 'paper' what was in my head- which seems to happen to me a lot. Yesterday, while mowing the lawn, my mind composed all sorts of wonderful, well articulated 'articles' about which I could write and post, but now that I'm at the computer all that information is gone. Sometimes while mowing the lawn I have cases or arguments which I present to congress and it's all so amazing to me. But it's just STUCK up there in my head. And, what, seriously, would I have to say to congress? By in my head my arguments about education and stuff are really good.
Some of you may have read my post about 'equal giving, equal sacrifice.' That theme has not left our lives since that time. I did sacrifice my nice coffee for the sake of Hannah taking pottery classes, but now it's more about time. Sheldon and I, through a series of circumstances, have taken two children under our wings. Some of you may have gotten a letter in your FB inbox about it. Mandisa is in grade 2, and just transferred back to Maranatha. He's in class with Myles. He can't read. He's been in school but hasn't been taught to read. So Sheldon and I are now helping Mandisa everday after school. Today I'm going to be attending class with him to try and assist the teacher with Mandisa in class. We'll see how that goes. Having Mandisa and Andiswa (his little sister, in K/R with Hannah) has also provided another challenge for me- food. As you all know I HATE cooking, and coming up with something to eat everyday has always been a challenge for me. Yesterday I forgot they'd be coming and didn't have enough food. I'll really have to get my mind in gear over that one- feeding 7 instead of 5. Being at Kebar each afternoon adds another flavor to the mix, as we juggle homework and the coffee shop. But all in all I'm happy and content. Knowing I'm where God wants me to be gives me perfect peace, that peace which surpasses all understanding. And, it has to be peace from God b/c I'm doing all sorts of things that are so NOT my cup of tea or in line with my giftings. I mean, come on, teaching? (first Sunday school, then substituting, now tutoring???)
Anyway, that's what I've been up to.
And if you're curious about the painting- it's still undone!!! The living room is a big mess, but for now it's the way it'll have to be. I just need to get my ducks in a row and then I can finish that frustrating job!
Until next time....
Quite a bit has happened in the last few weeks, one thing I tried to blog about but just couldn't get down on 'paper' what was in my head- which seems to happen to me a lot. Yesterday, while mowing the lawn, my mind composed all sorts of wonderful, well articulated 'articles' about which I could write and post, but now that I'm at the computer all that information is gone. Sometimes while mowing the lawn I have cases or arguments which I present to congress and it's all so amazing to me. But it's just STUCK up there in my head. And, what, seriously, would I have to say to congress? By in my head my arguments about education and stuff are really good.
Some of you may have read my post about 'equal giving, equal sacrifice.' That theme has not left our lives since that time. I did sacrifice my nice coffee for the sake of Hannah taking pottery classes, but now it's more about time. Sheldon and I, through a series of circumstances, have taken two children under our wings. Some of you may have gotten a letter in your FB inbox about it. Mandisa is in grade 2, and just transferred back to Maranatha. He's in class with Myles. He can't read. He's been in school but hasn't been taught to read. So Sheldon and I are now helping Mandisa everday after school. Today I'm going to be attending class with him to try and assist the teacher with Mandisa in class. We'll see how that goes. Having Mandisa and Andiswa (his little sister, in K/R with Hannah) has also provided another challenge for me- food. As you all know I HATE cooking, and coming up with something to eat everyday has always been a challenge for me. Yesterday I forgot they'd be coming and didn't have enough food. I'll really have to get my mind in gear over that one- feeding 7 instead of 5. Being at Kebar each afternoon adds another flavor to the mix, as we juggle homework and the coffee shop. But all in all I'm happy and content. Knowing I'm where God wants me to be gives me perfect peace, that peace which surpasses all understanding. And, it has to be peace from God b/c I'm doing all sorts of things that are so NOT my cup of tea or in line with my giftings. I mean, come on, teaching? (first Sunday school, then substituting, now tutoring???)
Anyway, that's what I've been up to.
And if you're curious about the painting- it's still undone!!! The living room is a big mess, but for now it's the way it'll have to be. I just need to get my ducks in a row and then I can finish that frustrating job!
Until next time....
Monday, March 28, 2011
Paint Troubles
Well, I did a lot of playing since Friday night, but only in the living room. The north side of the room is about 5 shades of greenish yellowish stuff. Some of it looks OK actually. I should get a camera and take photos. Last night I painted a 2nd coat of the 2nd 5L, light greenish shade but had just a little left over in the pan, which I decided to play with. I added some dark green (too much!) and some of the Hazelnut from the 1st 5L tub. It's pretty cool actually, but there's no way I can mix it the exact same to paint anymore of the wall that way. So now I've left myself with a section of darkish green wall which will need to get painted over.... ugh. Why do I do this to myself? I'll have to sand it and probably put some white over it... I'm thinking though, of keeping the north wall as it is, the light greenish shade, but making the rest of the room slightly darker, so I think today I'll play some more.
This is what happens when your kids are all sick and you can't leave the house! I don't want to take them anywhere and infect the populous more than they are already infected with TB and HIV and Hepatitis and all the other awful things that plague this poor continent. For now I'm grateful we have a nice yard in which they can play. It's a sunny day and prefect for being outdoors. It won't do their coughs much good to be running around, but they've got cabin fever too... so I'm choosing the lesser of two evils, for this morning anyway.
Hi ho, hi ho, off to mix paint I go...
Until next time....
This is what happens when your kids are all sick and you can't leave the house! I don't want to take them anywhere and infect the populous more than they are already infected with TB and HIV and Hepatitis and all the other awful things that plague this poor continent. For now I'm grateful we have a nice yard in which they can play. It's a sunny day and prefect for being outdoors. It won't do their coughs much good to be running around, but they've got cabin fever too... so I'm choosing the lesser of two evils, for this morning anyway.
Hi ho, hi ho, off to mix paint I go...
Until next time....
Friday, March 25, 2011
Two Weeks Later
Can two weeks, really, have already passed since my last post? Wow, time flies!
We had a pretty good response to Sheldon's challenge to the youth 2 weeks ago. 9 kids came to see him on an individual basis to talk about the night and what their commitment was for the future. Despite telling the kids they couldn't come back to youth unless they came to see him individually, Sheldon allowed anyone to come back. We had prayed about what to do about this when the Lord reminded me of the parable of the workers. Some workers worked hard all day and got paid the same wage as the workers who came at the last minute... in the end they all got the same 'reward.'
Since then a lot has happened, some good, some awful. I tried to blog about the awful thing, but I just couldn't get my thoughts to come out right on 'paper.'
Tonight there' s a lot on my mind, but I'm focusing on two things.
1- my sick Lala girl. She's got seriously bad ear infections, sinus infections, and a lung infection which may be pneumonia but we're not sure yet. Hopefully not. She's had a high fever and I haven't slept for 3 nights. Although I'm not a huge fan of antibiotics, I'm happy she's on them and trust she'll be better soon.
2- painting. Sheldon bought some white paint for the house a few months ago. I've finally gotten around to tinting it and here in lies my problem. UGH. Can't find the right color. Right now the wall is indescribable.... sort of a yellow/beige kind of thing. Neither Sheldon nor I are a fan, and the WHOLE house is this color (except the kids' rooms which we painted about 2-3yrs ago). The first color iIchose was Hazelnut. It's a really nice color- brownish- but not different enough from what's already on the wall. It's nearly the same color as our couch, and Sheldon didn't like that idea. I took the 2nd 5L can of paint back to the hardware store today and had it colored to a much lighter, greener shade. On top of the yellow/beige color on the wall it looks like throw up. On top of white it looks EXACTLY like the color that's already on the wall!!!! I have 2 more 5L cans I can experiment with... but what am I going to do w/ the stuff I've already colored but can't use? You betcha, I'm gonna play! I'm going to play with them like crazy and find something really cool to use to paint the tiny toilet only bathroom. We just fixed up the floor in that bathroom, and I'm thinking of going giraffe-themed. Our bedroom needs work, so I'll experiment with that too. The down side is that the 10L left won't be enough to cover the living room, so we'll have to figure out something there...
Anyway, in the mean time I'm bored and lonely and watching Independence Day. I'll ponder color charts and hope that something inspirational hits soon!
Until next time....
We had a pretty good response to Sheldon's challenge to the youth 2 weeks ago. 9 kids came to see him on an individual basis to talk about the night and what their commitment was for the future. Despite telling the kids they couldn't come back to youth unless they came to see him individually, Sheldon allowed anyone to come back. We had prayed about what to do about this when the Lord reminded me of the parable of the workers. Some workers worked hard all day and got paid the same wage as the workers who came at the last minute... in the end they all got the same 'reward.'
Since then a lot has happened, some good, some awful. I tried to blog about the awful thing, but I just couldn't get my thoughts to come out right on 'paper.'
Tonight there' s a lot on my mind, but I'm focusing on two things.
1- my sick Lala girl. She's got seriously bad ear infections, sinus infections, and a lung infection which may be pneumonia but we're not sure yet. Hopefully not. She's had a high fever and I haven't slept for 3 nights. Although I'm not a huge fan of antibiotics, I'm happy she's on them and trust she'll be better soon.
2- painting. Sheldon bought some white paint for the house a few months ago. I've finally gotten around to tinting it and here in lies my problem. UGH. Can't find the right color. Right now the wall is indescribable.... sort of a yellow/beige kind of thing. Neither Sheldon nor I are a fan, and the WHOLE house is this color (except the kids' rooms which we painted about 2-3yrs ago). The first color iIchose was Hazelnut. It's a really nice color- brownish- but not different enough from what's already on the wall. It's nearly the same color as our couch, and Sheldon didn't like that idea. I took the 2nd 5L can of paint back to the hardware store today and had it colored to a much lighter, greener shade. On top of the yellow/beige color on the wall it looks like throw up. On top of white it looks EXACTLY like the color that's already on the wall!!!! I have 2 more 5L cans I can experiment with... but what am I going to do w/ the stuff I've already colored but can't use? You betcha, I'm gonna play! I'm going to play with them like crazy and find something really cool to use to paint the tiny toilet only bathroom. We just fixed up the floor in that bathroom, and I'm thinking of going giraffe-themed. Our bedroom needs work, so I'll experiment with that too. The down side is that the 10L left won't be enough to cover the living room, so we'll have to figure out something there...
Anyway, in the mean time I'm bored and lonely and watching Independence Day. I'll ponder color charts and hope that something inspirational hits soon!
Until next time....
Friday, March 11, 2011
Off the grid
For a few weeks now Sheldon has had an "off the grid Friday" (if you want to read more about it, check out his FB page, then go to his notes). Tonight we had a pretty intense youth group meeting. We've been meeting every Friday night (unless it's Christmas Eve, Christmas, or New Year's Eve) for the past 10+ years... tonight we met, Sheldon spoke to them, sent them home, and told them not to come back!
Woah, what? Yup, that's what he said.
See, the thing is, (it's complicated) but we put a challenge out to the teens and basically said we're not here to simply entertain them. We want to implement the whole 5 purposes in our youth group (evangelism, fellowship, discipleship, ministry & worship). Right now everyone is so focused on the fellowship aspect and not really anything else. There are only a few who truly want to worship the Lord and minister to their peers. Anyhoo... the challenge is for them to go home and decide what they want, what God wants for them and the youth group, and then to come see Sheldon before next Friday to share with him what they've 'discovered.'
After dismissing them Sheldon, Paigel (youth leader) and I spent time praying and seeking the Lord. We felt God challenge us to stand in the gap for the teenagers. They won't know it (unless they read this) but we'll be fasting and praying for them this week like never before. We're fasting some things that the youth in our group are most distracted by: multimedia. We'll spend the next week giving up all time we would normally spend in front of the TV, on the computer, on the internet (whether it be on the cellphone or computer), or whatever other media there might be! (Sheldon and I already don't have TV, but we have movies, so we'll not be watching any of those!) This will be my last post for the week. No Facebook, no blog-reading, no news! (I hope someone comes face to face and can fill me in on Japan and whatever else is going on in the world!)
Our hope and prayer is that the teens will begin to understand what really matters in life, what truly is important, but realize that they can still have fun! Being a Christian doesn't mean living a boring life! NOT AT ALL!
so anyhoo- this has been a rushed post, but I need to get off the internet!!! I wanted to just let you all know what we're up to, and ask you to join with us in prayer for our teens (maybe even try the fast yourself!). We need a lot of wisdom. We're not sure how parents will react to what we've done, or even how many kids will take this seriously and come speak to Sheldon during the week...HOpefully it'll be all of them, but if it's only 1, we'll rejoice in that one and start with him/her!
Until next time...
Woah, what? Yup, that's what he said.
See, the thing is, (it's complicated) but we put a challenge out to the teens and basically said we're not here to simply entertain them. We want to implement the whole 5 purposes in our youth group (evangelism, fellowship, discipleship, ministry & worship). Right now everyone is so focused on the fellowship aspect and not really anything else. There are only a few who truly want to worship the Lord and minister to their peers. Anyhoo... the challenge is for them to go home and decide what they want, what God wants for them and the youth group, and then to come see Sheldon before next Friday to share with him what they've 'discovered.'
After dismissing them Sheldon, Paigel (youth leader) and I spent time praying and seeking the Lord. We felt God challenge us to stand in the gap for the teenagers. They won't know it (unless they read this) but we'll be fasting and praying for them this week like never before. We're fasting some things that the youth in our group are most distracted by: multimedia. We'll spend the next week giving up all time we would normally spend in front of the TV, on the computer, on the internet (whether it be on the cellphone or computer), or whatever other media there might be! (Sheldon and I already don't have TV, but we have movies, so we'll not be watching any of those!) This will be my last post for the week. No Facebook, no blog-reading, no news! (I hope someone comes face to face and can fill me in on Japan and whatever else is going on in the world!)
Our hope and prayer is that the teens will begin to understand what really matters in life, what truly is important, but realize that they can still have fun! Being a Christian doesn't mean living a boring life! NOT AT ALL!
so anyhoo- this has been a rushed post, but I need to get off the internet!!! I wanted to just let you all know what we're up to, and ask you to join with us in prayer for our teens (maybe even try the fast yourself!). We need a lot of wisdom. We're not sure how parents will react to what we've done, or even how many kids will take this seriously and come speak to Sheldon during the week...HOpefully it'll be all of them, but if it's only 1, we'll rejoice in that one and start with him/her!
Until next time...
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Busy week...
Last week was unusually busy for me, and I have to say, although it was nice to be busy, overall I didn't enjoy it.
The Lord used the week to remind me just how much I love being a SAHM and that I really have no need to work or "engage my brain" elsewhere. Home has enough challenges for me! We all have different make ups and I've come to be confident in who I am, which is who God made me to be. For as long as I can remember all I ever really wanted to do was be a wife and a mom. I used to pick careers as a kid because that's what you were supposed to do. My desires ranged greatly from being a mechanic to a physical therapist to a lawyer to a social worker and so on. But deep down what I really wanted to "be" is who I am now- a full time wife and mom.
I have enjoyed the challenges of this past week. It's good to be stretched out of our comfort zones. It was good for me to have something to remind me just how much I love what I do. I don't want to work as a teacher (I substituted for both grades 2 & 3 this week) nor do I want to work in a book store (although, I've been happy to help out at Kebar during a time of need!) everyday.
I never thought I'd say this, but this week I'm looking forward to having more time at home doing housework and gardening! I don't like housework at all, but last week I sort of missed it! The grass is about a foot high (ok, not all of it) and needs a good cut. I like mowing the lawn b/c it's good exercise. There's also some serious weeding to be done.
So I will have a busy week, a very busy week, but just not in the way it was busy last week, and I'm grateful.
I'm so grateful to be living the life I dreamed of. It's most certainly not always easy, and it's far from perfect, but it's exactly what I always wanted. Does that make any sense?
Until next time...
The Lord used the week to remind me just how much I love being a SAHM and that I really have no need to work or "engage my brain" elsewhere. Home has enough challenges for me! We all have different make ups and I've come to be confident in who I am, which is who God made me to be. For as long as I can remember all I ever really wanted to do was be a wife and a mom. I used to pick careers as a kid because that's what you were supposed to do. My desires ranged greatly from being a mechanic to a physical therapist to a lawyer to a social worker and so on. But deep down what I really wanted to "be" is who I am now- a full time wife and mom.
I have enjoyed the challenges of this past week. It's good to be stretched out of our comfort zones. It was good for me to have something to remind me just how much I love what I do. I don't want to work as a teacher (I substituted for both grades 2 & 3 this week) nor do I want to work in a book store (although, I've been happy to help out at Kebar during a time of need!) everyday.
I never thought I'd say this, but this week I'm looking forward to having more time at home doing housework and gardening! I don't like housework at all, but last week I sort of missed it! The grass is about a foot high (ok, not all of it) and needs a good cut. I like mowing the lawn b/c it's good exercise. There's also some serious weeding to be done.
So I will have a busy week, a very busy week, but just not in the way it was busy last week, and I'm grateful.
I'm so grateful to be living the life I dreamed of. It's most certainly not always easy, and it's far from perfect, but it's exactly what I always wanted. Does that make any sense?
Until next time...
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Great Day
We had such a great day today as a family. Sheldon and his running group ran a 46km run out to our friends' farm. It was Werner's birthday, so the wives and kids met up with the guys (well, one husband drove to meet up with his running wife) and we stayed at the farm for a braai and relaxing day.
This place is awesome. It's, like I said, 46km from town, so it's not that far, but once you're out there you feel like you're in a different world. Its so peaceful and quiet. It's not a working farm, but more of a 'game' farm with Kudu and giraffe and I dunno what else... oh, a leopard, but I've never seen it! (dangeroos!) There's no cell phone reception, no electricity, not much other than beautiful scenery and peace and quiet. It was really an awesome way to spend the day.
It was a 'training' run for the group, so they didn't push themselves like they did last week at the Assegaai Marathon, which allowed themselves to not be utterly exhausted and able to enjoy the day too. We drove to the river for a swim, back up to the chalets for braaiing (BBQ), then the guys took the kiddies for another game drive while the ladies lounged and chatted.
The best part about my day, though, was Hannah. Not only did she start the morning with looking in the mirror and saying, "I look goooooood," but she also pushed herself and rode 7km on her new bike. She's never ridden anywhere to close that far before. She rode on a loose-gravel road, often times it was covered with soft sand. Both are hard to ride on, especially when you're 5 and not an experienced rider. The rough surface wasn't the only challenge- there were many hills, and the others left her behind. She was the last kid. But, other than Kai (3yrs older), Hannah made it the farthest. Furthest? She just pedaled her bike as steady as could be and kept her eyes on the road. I drove next to her and did my best to encourage her. She wouldn't take her hands of her handle bars even when her nose was super itchy- she was just so focused. Finally the road got to the point where the stones were just too loose, and the hills too steep, so I made her stop. She got in the car and said, "Mom, I did the best I could." I said, "Hannah!!! You did an AMAZING job! You didn't give up or quit, Mommy MADE you stop and get in the car." Wow. I'm so so so proud of her. 7km might not sound like much, but as we drove back over that 7km on the ride home, I was shocked and proud all over again.
You go girl!! I'm so so so proud of you.
Ah, what a great day!
Until next time...
This place is awesome. It's, like I said, 46km from town, so it's not that far, but once you're out there you feel like you're in a different world. Its so peaceful and quiet. It's not a working farm, but more of a 'game' farm with Kudu and giraffe and I dunno what else... oh, a leopard, but I've never seen it! (dangeroos!) There's no cell phone reception, no electricity, not much other than beautiful scenery and peace and quiet. It was really an awesome way to spend the day.
It was a 'training' run for the group, so they didn't push themselves like they did last week at the Assegaai Marathon, which allowed themselves to not be utterly exhausted and able to enjoy the day too. We drove to the river for a swim, back up to the chalets for braaiing (BBQ), then the guys took the kiddies for another game drive while the ladies lounged and chatted.
The best part about my day, though, was Hannah. Not only did she start the morning with looking in the mirror and saying, "I look goooooood," but she also pushed herself and rode 7km on her new bike. She's never ridden anywhere to close that far before. She rode on a loose-gravel road, often times it was covered with soft sand. Both are hard to ride on, especially when you're 5 and not an experienced rider. The rough surface wasn't the only challenge- there were many hills, and the others left her behind. She was the last kid. But, other than Kai (3yrs older), Hannah made it the farthest. Furthest? She just pedaled her bike as steady as could be and kept her eyes on the road. I drove next to her and did my best to encourage her. She wouldn't take her hands of her handle bars even when her nose was super itchy- she was just so focused. Finally the road got to the point where the stones were just too loose, and the hills too steep, so I made her stop. She got in the car and said, "Mom, I did the best I could." I said, "Hannah!!! You did an AMAZING job! You didn't give up or quit, Mommy MADE you stop and get in the car." Wow. I'm so so so proud of her. 7km might not sound like much, but as we drove back over that 7km on the ride home, I was shocked and proud all over again.
You go girl!! I'm so so so proud of you.
Ah, what a great day!
Until next time...
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Equal Giving... Equal Sacrifice
The title above, or something like it, was used as a slogan for a church fundraiser some years ago. The idea was that in order to give, we may have to sacrifice something... there just isn't enough in your wallet to keep giving. I think most of us can relate to this.
Hannah came home a few weeks ago really longing to take a pottery class. As usual, there was no money for this added expense. We've been limiting the kids activities because of a tight budget and I really get tired of it. Myles wanted to do gymnastics but we said no. We've skipped 2yrs of swim lessons. Last year we signed Myles up for tennis lessons (which are actually very reasonably priced), so when Hannah came home wanting to do pottery, I was tired of saying no. Myles had something special to do, and I wanted Hannah to have the same luxury.
So, with this came a monthly bill of course. I realized that it was wrong of me to say "we can't afford this," because, really, in someway, we probably could. I just had to get my head wrapped around how. Then the slogan came back to my mind, and I thought "there must be something I can sacrifice each month in order to allow Hannah to take this class..." I was probably thinking about all this while making coffee one morning because the thing I chose to give up was coffee!
We only drink instant coffee here as filtered coffee is far more expensive. But, even though instant is cheaper, it's still a luxury, and one we could afford to live without. The total cost of coffee each month was about the same as the pottery class.
It's funny how coffee becomes so much a part of our lives. It wasn't a caffeine addiction that affected me because I'm super-sensitive to caffeine anyway, and have a mix of regular and decaf each morning. Or HAD anyway... ;) Each morning there was just something missing. Tea wasn't cutting it either, as far as filling in the void. I enjoy tea very much, but it just wasn't working in my morning routine. I really felt lost, sort of like I didn't know what to do with myself when I got out of bed each day. I'd walk to the kitchen, then just stare at the kettle, turn around and go back to my room- empty handed.
The small sacrifice has been totally worth it as Hannah really enjoys her class each Wednesday afternoon. Today I asked her, "what did you do in class today?" She replied, very matter of factly, "I painted myself." I'd forgotten that last week they'd made "themselves" out of pottery! (oops!)
Yesterday Sheldon and I were given some extra moola to buy groceries. What a HUGE blessing it was in many, many ways, for many, many reasons... this morning I went to the grocery store and was very careful with what I bought. I took items off the shelf, and then put them back- "we don't need that." I have to confess, though, when I got to the coffee aisle I very hesitantly put our favorite coffees in to the cart. There are always so many needs, so many other things to spend money on. I think its that way if you have a little or a lot. So I can always badger myself over splurging out on things like coffee... but sometimes with sacrifice comes giving... we gave to Hannah, then someone else gave to us. We sacrificed (although it was something very minor) for her, and someone else sacrificed for us (by sending us THEIR money, which THEY could have used on a MILLION other things...).
I'm so looking forward to tomorrow morning, getting Sheldon, and together peeling off the layer of protective-keep-in-the-freshness-seal and sniffing in the first, and best, whiff of coffee. God is good and I'm so grateful that He looks after us the way that He does.
Until next time...
Hannah came home a few weeks ago really longing to take a pottery class. As usual, there was no money for this added expense. We've been limiting the kids activities because of a tight budget and I really get tired of it. Myles wanted to do gymnastics but we said no. We've skipped 2yrs of swim lessons. Last year we signed Myles up for tennis lessons (which are actually very reasonably priced), so when Hannah came home wanting to do pottery, I was tired of saying no. Myles had something special to do, and I wanted Hannah to have the same luxury.
So, with this came a monthly bill of course. I realized that it was wrong of me to say "we can't afford this," because, really, in someway, we probably could. I just had to get my head wrapped around how. Then the slogan came back to my mind, and I thought "there must be something I can sacrifice each month in order to allow Hannah to take this class..." I was probably thinking about all this while making coffee one morning because the thing I chose to give up was coffee!
We only drink instant coffee here as filtered coffee is far more expensive. But, even though instant is cheaper, it's still a luxury, and one we could afford to live without. The total cost of coffee each month was about the same as the pottery class.
It's funny how coffee becomes so much a part of our lives. It wasn't a caffeine addiction that affected me because I'm super-sensitive to caffeine anyway, and have a mix of regular and decaf each morning. Or HAD anyway... ;) Each morning there was just something missing. Tea wasn't cutting it either, as far as filling in the void. I enjoy tea very much, but it just wasn't working in my morning routine. I really felt lost, sort of like I didn't know what to do with myself when I got out of bed each day. I'd walk to the kitchen, then just stare at the kettle, turn around and go back to my room- empty handed.
The small sacrifice has been totally worth it as Hannah really enjoys her class each Wednesday afternoon. Today I asked her, "what did you do in class today?" She replied, very matter of factly, "I painted myself." I'd forgotten that last week they'd made "themselves" out of pottery! (oops!)
Yesterday Sheldon and I were given some extra moola to buy groceries. What a HUGE blessing it was in many, many ways, for many, many reasons... this morning I went to the grocery store and was very careful with what I bought. I took items off the shelf, and then put them back- "we don't need that." I have to confess, though, when I got to the coffee aisle I very hesitantly put our favorite coffees in to the cart. There are always so many needs, so many other things to spend money on. I think its that way if you have a little or a lot. So I can always badger myself over splurging out on things like coffee... but sometimes with sacrifice comes giving... we gave to Hannah, then someone else gave to us. We sacrificed (although it was something very minor) for her, and someone else sacrificed for us (by sending us THEIR money, which THEY could have used on a MILLION other things...).
I'm so looking forward to tomorrow morning, getting Sheldon, and together peeling off the layer of protective-keep-in-the-freshness-seal and sniffing in the first, and best, whiff of coffee. God is good and I'm so grateful that He looks after us the way that He does.
Until next time...
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Can't Believe God is doing this in me...
I've written and re-written this entry three, four, five times now.
I'm, obviously, finding it hard to write what has been going on in my head, my heart... my life in the past month.
Everything now links to something that happened before, and that links to something that happened before that. So, to explain it all I'd have to go back to the very beginning and that'd be boring for everyone.
So where do I start? What do I say?
I guess I can say I've been faced with a reality that I've known in my head all my life, but haven't necessarily seen up close and personal for a long time. (just wrote and deleted again!)
I've been teaching Sunday school for grade 6&7 girls for the last month. To say this is something out of my comfort zone is an understatement. Just because I've been in youth ministry for 12 years, and just because my husband is awesome with teenagers doesn't mean that I am! In fact, I stink at it!!! ESPECIALLY with girls. I can hit it off with boys far more easily than girls- maybe because I am in the middle of two brothers? In my last drafts I've explained how it came about that I am teaching this class, but really it's not that important.
What's important to me, and I think to God... no, I KNOW to God, is who these girls are and where they are at in life. The Sunday school curriculum, as good as it is, is completely irrelevant and not useful at all. If these girls had grown up in church all their lives then I could do something with it. If they'd grown up in America or a 1st world country, then they could relate to it, but they didn't and they can't. The kids I've tried to work with for the past 10 years are from a different culture, different economic class, different educational experience, and different language! I realized I could not at all be useful to these girls unless I got to know them, and them me. What right did I have to ask them deep and personal questions when I couldn't even say their name or know where they lived?
There are two white girls in the class, they don't come regularly, and they are the type of kids that Sheldon and I relate to on a regular basis. There's one Indian girl, but from a culture much like the white girls, and the rest are black. Not all are Zulu as some come from Zimbabwe, and one from Swaziland. English is the 2nd or 3rd language for all but 2 of them. 5 of the girls come from homes with both a mom and dad AT home, which is quite startling actually. I was surprised the number was that high. One girl lives with her grandmother (a common occurrence in South Africa) and 3 of the girls are from Uzwelo (the orphanage). There are 3 girls who I can't get to speak- at least not more than one word at a time. (Actually, it was one of these 3 who asked me, "Who wrote the Bible?" Hey- a legit question if you grew up TOTALLY different than I did!!!!! It seems an obvious answer to me, but why should it be obvious to them?)
(deleting again!)
I guess where I'm at is here: as others in my shoes well know, but 99.9% of the world doesn't- there is no written material to help me reach out to these girls. I'm totally, 100% ill-equipped in that sense. No amount of college education in America, no amount of Christian high school, and not 10 years of youth ministry in South Africa has prepared me for this. There's no information on the Internet (I know, b/c I have searched) to help me reach out and understand this demographic.
So to find myself in a teaching position, which terrifies me, with pre-teen/young teenage (scary) girls (scarier!), and nothing to launch off of. All this has led me to once place- on my knees. I'm totally at God's mercy and utterly reliant upon His grace.
The strangest thing for me is that I was meant to fill in for just 6 weeks. I could muddle through that time with them, but after 4 weeks I found myself contacting their teacher asking if I could stay with them. What? What was I doing? SHE is a GOOD teacher. She's lived in South Africa her WHOLE life... she's FAR more equipped than I to lead these girls... she said it was a burden off of her shoulders due to having a toddler with another on the way, and she was so grateful I was willing to do this.
I never know what each Sunday will hold. Some weeks the hour has flown past- the girls opened up to me, cried, and shared some of their stories. Other weeks they've been near silent, not giving me any feed back and I think "Oh God, please help me! I'm wasting their time. They probably think I'm such a moron and they want their old teacher back." This past Sunday was like that. I tried to relate a Bible story into their lives (about Jesus helping us when we cry out to Him) but it seemed to fall flat. No one participated in the discussion and I could only do a "lesson" for so long (about 5min probably). I finally said to them, "you girls can be dismissed if you like. I don't know what else to say to you. You're very quiet today. I'd love to chat to you and get to know you more, and you me, but I can't do anything if you don't talk. You can ask me anything you want..." silence.
I went to Sheldon after church, totally frustrated, and said, "this is SO not going well. What am I doing with these girls? I'm sure they hate this class. And oh, they asked me if they could get together after school tomorrow and have a Valentines' Day picnic." Sheldon said, "what? what do you mean it's not going well? it's not going well so much that they want to spend time with you and each other outside of church?" I stepped back from myself and thought "OK... i guess it can't be all that bad!" They did come, although some of them 40 min late, and they were VERY quiet. But they did have fun and at the end they actually said "thank you!" which shows me they appreciated it.
This is a work of God and God alone, but I am so grateful He's chosen me to be a part of it all.
I'm sorry that this made no sense. I've spent like 2 hours trying to write it out in a way that conveys all I'm thinking and feeling, but I know I've blown it and I'm tired and ready to sign off...
I feel so privileged to be a part of what the Lord is doing here... I only hope He can continue to use me in spite of me!
Until next time...
I'm, obviously, finding it hard to write what has been going on in my head, my heart... my life in the past month.
Everything now links to something that happened before, and that links to something that happened before that. So, to explain it all I'd have to go back to the very beginning and that'd be boring for everyone.
So where do I start? What do I say?
I guess I can say I've been faced with a reality that I've known in my head all my life, but haven't necessarily seen up close and personal for a long time. (just wrote and deleted again!)
I've been teaching Sunday school for grade 6&7 girls for the last month. To say this is something out of my comfort zone is an understatement. Just because I've been in youth ministry for 12 years, and just because my husband is awesome with teenagers doesn't mean that I am! In fact, I stink at it!!! ESPECIALLY with girls. I can hit it off with boys far more easily than girls- maybe because I am in the middle of two brothers? In my last drafts I've explained how it came about that I am teaching this class, but really it's not that important.
What's important to me, and I think to God... no, I KNOW to God, is who these girls are and where they are at in life. The Sunday school curriculum, as good as it is, is completely irrelevant and not useful at all. If these girls had grown up in church all their lives then I could do something with it. If they'd grown up in America or a 1st world country, then they could relate to it, but they didn't and they can't. The kids I've tried to work with for the past 10 years are from a different culture, different economic class, different educational experience, and different language! I realized I could not at all be useful to these girls unless I got to know them, and them me. What right did I have to ask them deep and personal questions when I couldn't even say their name or know where they lived?
There are two white girls in the class, they don't come regularly, and they are the type of kids that Sheldon and I relate to on a regular basis. There's one Indian girl, but from a culture much like the white girls, and the rest are black. Not all are Zulu as some come from Zimbabwe, and one from Swaziland. English is the 2nd or 3rd language for all but 2 of them. 5 of the girls come from homes with both a mom and dad AT home, which is quite startling actually. I was surprised the number was that high. One girl lives with her grandmother (a common occurrence in South Africa) and 3 of the girls are from Uzwelo (the orphanage). There are 3 girls who I can't get to speak- at least not more than one word at a time. (Actually, it was one of these 3 who asked me, "Who wrote the Bible?" Hey- a legit question if you grew up TOTALLY different than I did!!!!! It seems an obvious answer to me, but why should it be obvious to them?)
(deleting again!)
I guess where I'm at is here: as others in my shoes well know, but 99.9% of the world doesn't- there is no written material to help me reach out to these girls. I'm totally, 100% ill-equipped in that sense. No amount of college education in America, no amount of Christian high school, and not 10 years of youth ministry in South Africa has prepared me for this. There's no information on the Internet (I know, b/c I have searched) to help me reach out and understand this demographic.
So to find myself in a teaching position, which terrifies me, with pre-teen/young teenage (scary) girls (scarier!), and nothing to launch off of. All this has led me to once place- on my knees. I'm totally at God's mercy and utterly reliant upon His grace.
The strangest thing for me is that I was meant to fill in for just 6 weeks. I could muddle through that time with them, but after 4 weeks I found myself contacting their teacher asking if I could stay with them. What? What was I doing? SHE is a GOOD teacher. She's lived in South Africa her WHOLE life... she's FAR more equipped than I to lead these girls... she said it was a burden off of her shoulders due to having a toddler with another on the way, and she was so grateful I was willing to do this.
I never know what each Sunday will hold. Some weeks the hour has flown past- the girls opened up to me, cried, and shared some of their stories. Other weeks they've been near silent, not giving me any feed back and I think "Oh God, please help me! I'm wasting their time. They probably think I'm such a moron and they want their old teacher back." This past Sunday was like that. I tried to relate a Bible story into their lives (about Jesus helping us when we cry out to Him) but it seemed to fall flat. No one participated in the discussion and I could only do a "lesson" for so long (about 5min probably). I finally said to them, "you girls can be dismissed if you like. I don't know what else to say to you. You're very quiet today. I'd love to chat to you and get to know you more, and you me, but I can't do anything if you don't talk. You can ask me anything you want..." silence.
I went to Sheldon after church, totally frustrated, and said, "this is SO not going well. What am I doing with these girls? I'm sure they hate this class. And oh, they asked me if they could get together after school tomorrow and have a Valentines' Day picnic." Sheldon said, "what? what do you mean it's not going well? it's not going well so much that they want to spend time with you and each other outside of church?" I stepped back from myself and thought "OK... i guess it can't be all that bad!" They did come, although some of them 40 min late, and they were VERY quiet. But they did have fun and at the end they actually said "thank you!" which shows me they appreciated it.
This is a work of God and God alone, but I am so grateful He's chosen me to be a part of it all.
I'm sorry that this made no sense. I've spent like 2 hours trying to write it out in a way that conveys all I'm thinking and feeling, but I know I've blown it and I'm tired and ready to sign off...
I feel so privileged to be a part of what the Lord is doing here... I only hope He can continue to use me in spite of me!
Until next time...
Friday, February 4, 2011
Here and There
(just a note to say please forgive me for that last post. although it was real and transparent it was very negative! :P )
One upon a time "here" was New Hampshire and "there" was just about anywhere else in the world. For 11 years now, however, "here" is now South Africa, specifically Piet Retief, and "there" usually refers to back home in the US. I was communicating with a fellow American, who now lives in the UK, about the difference between Celcius and Farenheit, and it got me to thinking about all the differences- in the small things- between "here" and "there."
Here: There:
Celcius Farenheit
Takkies Sneakers
Longs Pants/Jeans
Braai Barbeque
Inca Lily Alstrumaria
Cool Drink whatever it is specifically
like "coke" or "root beer" or
"juice" or even "soda"
Cut the grass mow the lawn
Icing Sugar Confectioners Sugar
Treacle Sugar Brown Sugar
Brown Sugar not sure, but it's like white sugar, but brown
Castor Sugar Super Fine Sugar (I think)
Gezer Hot Water Heater
(why don't we just say water heater?)
Chips French Fries
Chips Potato Chips
Bonnet Hood (of car)
Boot Trunk
Truck Mack Truck/Semi
Baakie Pick-Up Truck/Truck
Pavement Sidewalk
Biscuit Cookie
Jersey Sweater
Dry Mac Wind Breaker
Plat Braid
Torch Flashlight
and the list goes on...
But, whether "here" or "there" it all feels like home.
Until next time...
One upon a time "here" was New Hampshire and "there" was just about anywhere else in the world. For 11 years now, however, "here" is now South Africa, specifically Piet Retief, and "there" usually refers to back home in the US. I was communicating with a fellow American, who now lives in the UK, about the difference between Celcius and Farenheit, and it got me to thinking about all the differences- in the small things- between "here" and "there."
Here: There:
Celcius Farenheit
Takkies Sneakers
Longs Pants/Jeans
Braai Barbeque
Inca Lily Alstrumaria
Cool Drink whatever it is specifically
like "coke" or "root beer" or
"juice" or even "soda"
Cut the grass mow the lawn
Icing Sugar Confectioners Sugar
Treacle Sugar Brown Sugar
Brown Sugar not sure, but it's like white sugar, but brown
Castor Sugar Super Fine Sugar (I think)
Gezer Hot Water Heater
(why don't we just say water heater?)
Chips French Fries
Chips Potato Chips
Bonnet Hood (of car)
Boot Trunk
Truck Mack Truck/Semi
Baakie Pick-Up Truck/Truck
Pavement Sidewalk
Biscuit Cookie
Jersey Sweater
Dry Mac Wind Breaker
Plat Braid
Torch Flashlight
and the list goes on...
But, whether "here" or "there" it all feels like home.
Until next time...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Love Languages
I am, and forever will be, incredibly grateful to a friend of mine who gave me a copy of Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages." I read it in our first year of marriage and I really think it was a marriage-saver so to speak. Sheldon and I speak different love languages, and since we didn't have much of a courting period, we only got to really know each other after we were married.
Sheldon's main love languages are words of affirmation (saying, "I love you.") and physical touch. Mine are acts of service (doing dishes, making a favorite dessert), and quality time. (Thankfully, for both of us, giving gifts isn't either of our main languages, which helps with our wallets!)
Once you recognize the way you offer to express your love to others, you realize that is the same filter you use in which to receive love as well. For example, Sheldon tells me many, many times a day "I love you." But deep inside (and before I understood all of this) my mind thinks "you can say it, but if you don't show it, words mean nothing." That is not true at all, but it's how MY mind and heart think. On the other hand, I don't say it all that much... I feel like I'm SHOWING him love all the time, so why say it as well? But, he needs to hear it. He needs to hear me say "I love you."
After 10 years I have to say we're both doing pretty well. We know where the other is at and do our best to meet our partner where they are.
But for me, today, this all translated into something beyond my marriage- into my friendships. When it comes to being a friend, I SHOW it. I SMS (text), write messages on FB, make plans to visit, etc... I don't know if it's because my friends have become accustomed to me doing the initiating that they don't, or perhaps I really just have far too much time on my hands, but I hurt when the initiating doesn't go the other way. I want someone to text me and say, "I've been thinking about you all week... coffee?" and, I'll drop WHATEVER I'm doing to meet them. Because I know we're not all wired the same way, I know that how I'm feeling isn't a true reflection of reality. I know my friends love and care for me because they were all there when I went through the hardest time in my life and they're still hanging around... ;)
So why today am I feeling so down, so alone, so unloved and unwanted? Using hormones is always an easy, and probably accurate, excuse.
I'm completely and totally rambling, but that's what this blog is for. If you don't like it, you're more than welcome not to read it.
Sheldon came home with a mini-chocolate bar a few minutes ago- to SHOW me he loves me and to let me know he's sorry I'm feeling sad and just can't help how I feel.
Am I the only one who struggles with these thoughts and emotions?
Until next time....
Sheldon's main love languages are words of affirmation (saying, "I love you.") and physical touch. Mine are acts of service (doing dishes, making a favorite dessert), and quality time. (Thankfully, for both of us, giving gifts isn't either of our main languages, which helps with our wallets!)
Once you recognize the way you offer to express your love to others, you realize that is the same filter you use in which to receive love as well. For example, Sheldon tells me many, many times a day "I love you." But deep inside (and before I understood all of this) my mind thinks "you can say it, but if you don't show it, words mean nothing." That is not true at all, but it's how MY mind and heart think. On the other hand, I don't say it all that much... I feel like I'm SHOWING him love all the time, so why say it as well? But, he needs to hear it. He needs to hear me say "I love you."
After 10 years I have to say we're both doing pretty well. We know where the other is at and do our best to meet our partner where they are.
But for me, today, this all translated into something beyond my marriage- into my friendships. When it comes to being a friend, I SHOW it. I SMS (text), write messages on FB, make plans to visit, etc... I don't know if it's because my friends have become accustomed to me doing the initiating that they don't, or perhaps I really just have far too much time on my hands, but I hurt when the initiating doesn't go the other way. I want someone to text me and say, "I've been thinking about you all week... coffee?" and, I'll drop WHATEVER I'm doing to meet them. Because I know we're not all wired the same way, I know that how I'm feeling isn't a true reflection of reality. I know my friends love and care for me because they were all there when I went through the hardest time in my life and they're still hanging around... ;)
So why today am I feeling so down, so alone, so unloved and unwanted? Using hormones is always an easy, and probably accurate, excuse.
I'm completely and totally rambling, but that's what this blog is for. If you don't like it, you're more than welcome not to read it.
Sheldon came home with a mini-chocolate bar a few minutes ago- to SHOW me he loves me and to let me know he's sorry I'm feeling sad and just can't help how I feel.
Am I the only one who struggles with these thoughts and emotions?
Until next time....
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sunshine
Today is the 2nd day in a row of sun. It's the longest we've had this much steady sun in a very long time. We prayed for rain, and we got it... but now we're all grateful for some sunshine. With the sun has come warmth, and finally the feeling of a typical summer here in Piet Retief.
My family and friends in the US often ask me "what's the temperature there?" After 10-11 years I've gotten used to what 20degrees C means, vs 20degrees F. But, on any given day, it's been just a guess, "around 70 maybe...?" On my parents' last visit here they brought me a gift- an inside/outside temperature reader, in F (so I didn't have to convert for them, and probably b/c there wasn't an option for one in C at Wal-Mart ;) )! I have really enjoyed it and often been surprised at how close or how far off my guesses have been.
Something strange, however, has happened to the outside reader. It has simply disappeared. It went missing once and we found it in a puddle. The kids had decided it was a good toy to play with. After a miraculous drying out and healing period, with new batteries the outside reader was up and running once again. But after sometime it disappeared. We asked the kids if they'd seen it, and they assured us that they had absolutely NOT played with it THIS TIME! The funny thing is, wherever the reader is, it's somewhere shady and cool. For the most part it's cooler "outside" than it is in the house. For example, today's inside temp reads 82, but outside it's only 71. I grew up in southern New Hampshire, and as a result (I guess) I prefer the 71 to the 82, and I'd much rather be outside in 71degree weather than inside where it's 82! But, for now, only the little gadget is enjoying that luxury.
In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the sunshine anyway!
Until next time...
My family and friends in the US often ask me "what's the temperature there?" After 10-11 years I've gotten used to what 20degrees C means, vs 20degrees F. But, on any given day, it's been just a guess, "around 70 maybe...?" On my parents' last visit here they brought me a gift- an inside/outside temperature reader, in F (so I didn't have to convert for them, and probably b/c there wasn't an option for one in C at Wal-Mart ;) )! I have really enjoyed it and often been surprised at how close or how far off my guesses have been.
Something strange, however, has happened to the outside reader. It has simply disappeared. It went missing once and we found it in a puddle. The kids had decided it was a good toy to play with. After a miraculous drying out and healing period, with new batteries the outside reader was up and running once again. But after sometime it disappeared. We asked the kids if they'd seen it, and they assured us that they had absolutely NOT played with it THIS TIME! The funny thing is, wherever the reader is, it's somewhere shady and cool. For the most part it's cooler "outside" than it is in the house. For example, today's inside temp reads 82, but outside it's only 71. I grew up in southern New Hampshire, and as a result (I guess) I prefer the 71 to the 82, and I'd much rather be outside in 71degree weather than inside where it's 82! But, for now, only the little gadget is enjoying that luxury.
In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the sunshine anyway!
Until next time...
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Intro
I've tried this once before, mmmm.... about 4 years ago I think, and I didn't turn out to well. Blogging that is. I guess I didn't have enough confidence in what I had to say, or confidence that anyone would want to listen. I still don't, but it's OK this time.
This time I just need an outlet for my thoughts more than anything else, and if you want to comment on them, well that's fine by me.
Since time is already against me (I have to go pick up my daughters from school in less than 60 seconds) I thought I'd just quickly set out this first post and see what happens... see if I can actually send the thing to post and see if it really does!
My name is Christen and I'm 34yrs old. I am American but have been living, and have legal residence in, South Africa for the past 11 years. I'm married to the best man in the world and over the last 10 years we've popped out 3 of the most beautiful children to ever walk the planet. More on them another time.
I have no profession and no training. I'm doing what I always wanted to do- I'm a wife and a mom, and I absolutely LOVE it.
Today is Lily's 2nd day at preschool (she's 3). When I picked her up last week she said "Mumma, WHAT are you doing here?" As if to say- MOM!!!! I don't want to go home! I'm interested to see her reaction today. ;)
Until later....
C
This time I just need an outlet for my thoughts more than anything else, and if you want to comment on them, well that's fine by me.
Since time is already against me (I have to go pick up my daughters from school in less than 60 seconds) I thought I'd just quickly set out this first post and see what happens... see if I can actually send the thing to post and see if it really does!
My name is Christen and I'm 34yrs old. I am American but have been living, and have legal residence in, South Africa for the past 11 years. I'm married to the best man in the world and over the last 10 years we've popped out 3 of the most beautiful children to ever walk the planet. More on them another time.
I have no profession and no training. I'm doing what I always wanted to do- I'm a wife and a mom, and I absolutely LOVE it.
Today is Lily's 2nd day at preschool (she's 3). When I picked her up last week she said "Mumma, WHAT are you doing here?" As if to say- MOM!!!! I don't want to go home! I'm interested to see her reaction today. ;)
Until later....
C
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