Thank You Daddy...

Sheldon and I have had some pretty major ups and downs, financially, in our 10 1/2 years of marriage.  Actually, honestly, they've been mostly down times, but somehow God always sees us through, as He promised he would (Phil 4:19).  I remember, clearly, in our first year of marriage, the electricity being cut off because we didn't have enough money to pay the bill.  I totally freaked out.  I was set and ready to pack my bags and go back home to my mom and dad, who-although they also saw some tough times-never had the electricity cut off. I felt very scared and unsure and questioned what in the world I was doing with this "stranger of a man" (you have to know our story to understand that statement) who couldn't provide for me.  I can also remember, in that first year, opening the fridge and seeing nothing but a bottle of ketchup and a partial block of cheese (which is YELLOW here!!!!).  Anyway, there was no possible way for me to get home, which was a good thing. The Lord knew it was my tendency to run and hide, so if I could have gotten home I would have gone.  But I was stuck and He made us stick it out. I'm so glad He did!  

We've never been through times where we didn't have to live off of a very tight budget.  There was never anything left over at the end of any month for savings or anything like that.  We didn't go without though.  We've had countless people bless us over the years with various things. Food, money, clothes, holidays... it's amazing to look back and see all the miracles God has done simply because He loves us.

He's challenged us with giving as well.  We actually love to give, and this has become harder as our family has grown.  It's hard to 'give' knowing that it's the last of what you've got, and tomorrow you're going to need diapers or milk or bread or all of the above.  We've tried to be obedient in giving, and I can tell you that God is NOT good at math, because He gives us in return far more than we ever expect He would.  Once we gave a lady who'd been mugged of her groceries R50.  A day or two later someone gave us $500 toward our trip to the US that year... come on people- 50 RANDS compared to 500 DOLLARS!!!  God is good.

I have to admit that it hasn't always been rosy or exciting.  Some people can face their needs with seemingly endless amount of carefree-ness.  Not me. I tend to worry and freak out.  But as the years have passed and I look back I can certainly see how the Lord has used these challenges to make me grow. However, the Lord has this way of taking you to a place, and just when you think you've 'arrived' He says "uh-uh, I want you to move a little bit further."  This happened this past month.

I want to make it clear here that we don't struggle financially because we are 1- not looked after by our employer, nor 2- because we are irresponsible.  But what do you do when your gear box breaks and it costs R18,000 to repair??? yeah, you go into debt. At least people like us do!  And when you've never had enough at the end of each month to save, how do you now pay off an extra R18,000??? It takes time.

So this year, for the first time in 10+ years, we enjoyed a month where we actually had some money in our check account the day before payday. Granted, it wasn't much, less than R50 I think, but it was something. HURRAY! Thank You, Lord.  It was soooooooooooo nice to be able to go buy milk and bread and eggs on the 20th (pay day is the 25th) and know I wasn't borrowing the money to do so from the kids' piggy banks.  It felt great and I rejoiced daily.  I felt so spoiled by our gracious God.  You might think He's not very gracious if we struggle each month, but if I didn't struggle I wouldn't have the character building that I've had over the last decade. I'd be a spoiled brat and probably far less likely to give because I wouldn't understand the joy of the whole giving/receiving process.

Well this month was back to old times.  There were extra expenses due to our trip to PMB for Comrades.  Just gas alone set us back quite a bit.  So by the 15th we were broke. Nothing left.  Nothing in the checking, nothing even left in the credit card (thanks to that gear box repair job).  We were back to beans and lentils.  Fine. It was fine. I was used to this and although it was a bummer, I could handle it. I kept my mind on things above, and was reminded to be thankful and grateful for all that we have. It wasn't easy, but it was doable.  We got creative with school snacks and drank more water than usual. No big deal.  But as each day passed our needs grew greater. I spent a lot of time praying "Lord, you know our needs. Help me to keep my focus on you and not our needs. Please provide for us as You've promised you would. Thank you for all that you've blessed us with."  But I guess my heart wasn't fully 100%  in that prayer because one day late last week I cracked. I fell apart. We were running out of everything, time was up, 99 had come and gone and it seemed like God had simply forgotten about us.  Electricity was almost gone. Fridge was nearly empty. Dry goods running low. Last dose of daily meds taken.... all this and a holiday to look forward to. How were we going to manage a holiday (accomadation was a GIFT!!!) with 5 kids and no cash? I had no meds left and that was going to be dangerous.  Sheldon wrapped me in his arms and tried to console me as he prayed aloud and shared what was on both our hearts with our Father.  I got my act together and felt better after that.


On Monday an email arrived from my mom saying some friends in the US sent them a check for us for $500!!!!!!!! (I can't access it yet, as I'm still waiting for my ATM card to arrive in the mail.) Today, Sheldon got an SMS saying "R5,000 deposited into your account. Reference: Holiday money."  As Sheldon read me the SMS tears came to my eyes. We hugged and both started to cry.  Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe how we felt.


You know, although I've walked with Christ for as long as I can remember, I'm still a human mess. I still worry and fret even though I don't need to.  I don't know why God works out his timing the way He does.  And yes, He's allowed us to "suffer."  We've gone through times where all we had to eat for days on end were potatoes (which happened to be a gift from a local farmer) and we all got sick from it.  Why did He allow that? I don't know. Maybe we needed a greater reality check to what most of this country and this continent live through.  Why would he allow my meds to run out, knowing their could be serious consequences? I have no idea, but I know that it has to be for a reason.  But the blessings far, far, far outweigh the hard times.  The list of blessings in the back of our blessing book isn't longer than a list (which I've never made) of rough times.... but they weigh far more.  The hard times may have lasted months on end, but then that needed holiday when you are just desperate to get away, makes up for the months of hard time, and then some.


Yesterday was the last day we could get our car re-licensed without a penalty.  Today we were able to get it done(and although we deserved a penalty for being late, we were't issued one!).  Yesterday we ran out of bread and milk.  Today we bought some.  Yesterday we owed money at Kebar for lunch we'd gotten the week before, today I paid the bill.  Yesterday I ran out of medicine. Today I got a refill. Yesterday I didn't know HOW we'd be able to manage this holiday, today I know we'll not only just get by, we'll have an incredibly fantastic time. We'll be able to spoil the kids like never before and the best thing of all is that Mandisa and Andiswa will be with us.  We cannot wait to take them to the beach for the very first time in their lives.  They have never seen dolphins or even been to a mall. "Mall" is one of the boys' spelling words and I asked Mandisa if he knew what it was. He didn't and so I explained to him. He was quiet for a moment and then said, "wow... I've never seen anything like that."

I sat and worried and cried and doubted and God still came through.


What an amazing God we serve.


Thank You, Daddy, for your love and care.


And, thanks, to whoever it is of you out there who was obedient to the Lord's prompting and sent us the holiday money.  You'll never know just how much it means. My words can never express our gratitude adequately.  God bless you.


Until next time....

Need some help!

I have started to write something a few times over the past couple of weeks, but obviously nothing has gotten done until now.

Comrades has come and gone.  It was a good event overall and I'm incredibly proud of my hubby for sticking with it on the day (when he felt quite sick!).

Right now I'm needing some support in various ways.  Mostly it concerns Mandisa, who many of you know about.  For those of you who don't, there's a longer story, but the short of it is Mandisa is a little guy who Myles met in preschool a few years back.  Right now he's back at Maranatha in 2nd grade with Myles.  Sheldon and I have taken Mandisa and Andiswa (who's in K with Hannah) under our wings.  We've been trying to get financial support for them to remain at Maranatha (which is a private Christian school) as well as trying to help Mandisa catch up with his school work.  He was at a public school where the standards were incredibly low.  We had hoped with a few months of extra help and tutoring that he'd catch up with the rest of the class, but he hasn't.  He's not the slowest in his class, but I feel certain he's got potential... however he's not where he should be academically.  I don't know what else to do.  I'm not a qualified anything, especially a teacher... In my heart I really, really, would like Mandisa to pass 2nd grade and move along with Myles.  They are very good friends, but on a selfish note, it'll be easier for me to help 2 kids in grade 3 and 2 kids in grade 1 (next year the girls will be there), than 1 in grade 3, 1 in grade 2 (again) and two in grade 1.... Lily will still be in preschool.

I'm seeking advice, materials and mostly wisdom from our Father.  I want to know how how best to help Mandisa.  I just don't feel satisfied with the answer that he's slow.  Maybe he does have some learning difficulties,and I need to just submit to the fact that keeping him back is for the best.  HOWEVER, if that potential is in there, but just needs to be unlocked, I want to unlock it.  I just need a word from our Father of what the truth is with M.

((School vacation is in less than two weeks and we are taking Mandisa and Andiswa with us to the beach! Some very loving and caring friends have given us 1 week at the beach for free!!! HURRAY!!!!  We feel so spoiled!! M & A have NEVER been to the beach before, so they are really excited.  Our kids are praying for some spending money so we can take all of them to the aquarium in Durban. ))

The other area where we just need wisdom from God is our spiritual input into the lives on A & M.  The other day I was driving them home after homework and Mandisa saw a clam shell on the floor of our car (left there by some of the kids' other friends).  He told us about how you can pray to Jesus and the clam shell will open and then you can talk to your ancestors.  Oi vey.  Very typical of African Christians... they call out to Jesus but so often aren't taught to leave their old ways behind.  I told him that it wasn't right to do that and he said "but my Granny has a whole vest made of shells."  Oi.  ((Sigh.))  I love these kiddos and want what is best for them.   I'm feeling incredibly unqualified, which I am really, but know that God can use me if I let Him.

Please pray with me for wisdom, for financial provision, and for God-ideas on how to help the kids with their school work!  Thanks friends.

Until next time...